monday!

dragging through and yet amazingly energetic and inspired... i feel at odds with myself.

how is Grace(my intention for Sept) supporting me? well it's helping me cope, it's pointing out moments of space, it's allowing me to say NO and to take better self care in stress.

how do i want Grace to lighten my issues this week? well i am having a money freak out and yet have been gifted the opportunity to teach again this weekend so money will follow in a bit... but it's feeling tight and i am feeling the extra pounds i have packed on this year. that may be due to my increase in working out or it could just be that i have finally looked at myself for the first time in 9 months, so i'd love some compassion and some hope that i can shed this emotional weight.

who or what is giving me energy? travel! i am traveling for work! and this is what i have always wanted and i am doing it and succeeding and having fun!
friends, tea and grapes harvested from my parents yard! amazing things those grapes!

what quality would i like to call in? i'd like to remember to take time to meditate. i know it's not a quality but it will give me calm, clarity, comfort, trust, love, epiphanies.

i'd also like to build in time to dance and move my beautiful body.

and a new thing i am adding and expecting the universe to provide a solution to within the week
my question for the week...
how can i shed these emotional/physical/mental burdens?

linking you to the incredible

so I have this amazing friend who read my last post and went and did the research for me. thank you love! she needs a job, anyone need an amazing research lady, or general admin help or a personal assistant in portland area? cause she will rock your world and make your life sooooo much easier.

anita is an incredible body/mind healer who also creates beautiful jewelry full of simple messages

and aimee is an amazing psychic who works with really cools "peeps" and translates their messages into things we can utilize and understand. she is also in process of birthing a book which i shall link to once it has materialized.

today is feeling a bit more grounded. i am taking the opportunity of good weather to paint the bathroom floor, clean out the garage and i saved some reject plants form home depot yesterday so i must get them into the ground to thrive. spouse used the good weather to escape and he paddled over to our favorite place, blake island for the evening. i shall pick him up sometimes soon.

did anyone in seattle see last nights incredible redREDred sunset! AMAZING!

on retreats and the processing that happens after

this weekend i was on retreat doing interplay and the oracle way with some amazing and talented individuals. here is the host Leah the others i shall find and link to them as i can


when on retreat it's like you are having a continuous inflow of information pouring into every pore of your body. there is nothing like a good retreat.

witnessing others processes and then finding answers for yourself in their experience. amazing!

but then you have to come back to the real world. and everything gets a bit wonky, strange and like you are moving through molasses.

in someways it is a brilliant opportunity to re-examine whats important and what is ready to be purged.

today while taking down the laundry i was hit with a huge wave of gratitude and sadness. i was so thankful for this amazing day, for the sunflowers, the heat, the clothes drying outside this late in September. so much simple joy and delight.

and then the sadness hit and i long to stay in this simplicity, to live as we once did where the daily tasks of tending to your land mattered far more then money. i didn't sign up to support my family for over a year, i expected things to flow easier for my spouse and i never thought i would still be in the same place i was last year at this time. yes i have learned so much and grown a tremendous amount but i am just as financially stuck.

had i known this was where i would be a year from now... well i would have made 3000 other choices. and i understand that this is an issue affecting hundreds of thousands of people so i am not alone, but that may also be why it hurts so bad.

so how to return to the simplicity and the gratitude and the ease. cause it exists side by side and if i can experience such grounded connectivity in a weekend retreat why can't i capture a piece of that for myself today.

perhaps i shall dance a bit to return to the trust that everything comes as needed and i am extremely blessed.

whatever is moving through it is a HUGE reminder that just because you have left the retreat you are still likely to be processing the information for days after. just know this and allow the feeling to come up and move out, then the new information can take residence.

rules

I found these rules to live by today and although I don't like the idea of rules I thought these ones were pretty ok for rules. These pre-date the commandments, in case you like that kind of information.

1. Examine life



2. Worry only about those things under your control



3. Treasure friendship



4. Experience true pleasure



5. Master yourself



6. Avoid excess



7. Be a responsible human being



8. Don't be a prosperous fool



9. Don't do evil to others



10. Kindness to others tends to be rewarded

i need to work extra hard on 2 & 4 & maybe 8

it's monday!

time to manifest

how is grace supporting me?
it is helping me dance through the freak out of very few clients coming in
it is helping me see financial challenges and part of growing up and learning opportunities instead of oh f*** moments
it is finding me a new opening that i LOVE LOVE LOVE and cannot wait to bring into this world
it is bringing me moments of grace which makes everything feel easier

how do i want grace to lighten my issues?
i can use some more peace around not making enough money to live on
it can bring my partner a job
it can dance some more clients into my awareness
it can help me create the curriculum for the Muse project

who or what is giving me energy?
tea!
those amazing women who just walked the 60 miles for breast cancer
bollywood films... dancing in my very lame way throughout the day
peaches!

what quality would i like to call in?
i could use some faith, trust and hope to get through my money mindset
also i'd like some energy and feeling tapped and not sure what's up with that, so clarity on what i need change, or who zapped me or just more energy.

spinning straw, confronting the shadow

This is an article by

Dr. Patricia Nan Anderson

She writes a lovely monthly newsletter called "The Nudge" which encourages one to take risks in the creative arena, mainly put forth your knowledge into a book. You can reach her at 206.905.9343 or email her at ineedanudge@gmail.com.

talking about the tale of Rumplestiltskin...
Psychoanalyze this tale a bit and you'll see that Rumplestiltskin is part of the personality of the miller's daughter. In the Freudian vocabulary, he is her Id. For you Jungians, he is the Shadow. But whatever you call it, Rumplestiltskin represents a creative force that the girl has within her from the start. She just doesn't realize it.

And that's where we all are. We all have the power to spin straw - to transform our mundane abilities and talents - into gold - into our hearts' desire. We might need some level of desperation to see this, maybe not a threat of death, but something that shakes us out of the status quo. And even then, like the miller's daughter, we're more likely to weep and wail than to take action. We need a nudge, but we also need to be daring.

Daring to use our hidden powers - that side of us that is reckless, creative, even dangerous - that is what delivers amazing results.

It's also what terrifies us.

The miller's daughter got what she wanted - three rooms of gold, a powerful husband and a baby - and decided she no longer needed her creative muse. She sent Rumplestiltskin packing (to the netherworld, according to most versions of the tale; Freud and Jung would concur). In the traditional world of the fairy tale, anyone with an active Id is in trouble. Better to settle down.

But many of us settle down long before we fulfill our dreams. We banish our inner Rumplestiltskin way too early. We play it safe. We are terrified, actually, of how wonderful we could be if we let ourselves be our true selves. Our Id is dangerous, that's a fact. But it can be activated and controlled.

This week, think a bit about Rumplestiltskin. See if your unconscious comes up with some terrific new idea that you've never had before, simply because you've invited your Id to play a part in your life. This is precisely what happened to me this week.

And the question, remember, is not really "straw or gold?" It's really "death or gold?" Which will you choose?

OMG i almost missed Monday's wish

September intention was grace... i think or maybe ease. crap look at me fail all over myself. i choose Grace today... right now! and since it is the first official Monday of September may it be so!

how is grace supporting me?
well it is allowing me to laugh at myself over not knowing my intention, and it is bringing me delightful surprises and some non-delightful tummy aches (actually i'm not sure what the tummy aches are about)

how do i want grace to lighten my issues?
by reminding me i am perfectly ok
by letting clients fall into my awareness
by making my "new thing" feel expansive and easy

who or what is giving me energy?
painting
meditation/visualization
zac efron and that cute dancing chick from hairspray (if i was a real person i would so look up her name i mean she got an oscar nod but no i am not)

what quality would i like to call in?
can money be a quality? cause more would be awesome right now with the whole October property taxes looming over me
ooh receiving---that would also be a good quality to call in cause then i could receive money, and friends, and random presents and hope and love... the things i could receive are endless


ok now you play in the comments! except that i am posting this ridiculously late... sorry. but you can still play!

wedding pics

remember that amazing wedding i gushed about on the 4th of July

here are pics

beautiful!

shoes are evil

here's a guy who found a tribe of amazing runners in mexico and realized shoes will kill us all.

video link

the art has started

so remember a month ago i had this crazy idea to do some insane amount of art to help shift the energy of 2012.

well September 1st the start date has passed and i forgot to tell you all that i am an art making fiend.

i have no idea what is working through me, nor what the heck i am creating or how many pieces i am creating or if/when these pieces will be available to view/purchase.

i am just a slave to the paint brush.

my task for now is to listen and so far i have got nothing but paint, color, draw.

lots of seeds, spirals and hearts showing up.

more soon with pictures, i promise :D

oh on a very cool side note, there are things a brewing here in west seattle. very cool and amazing new stuff is coming together in my brain. that asking thing i did the other day.... it is potentially a very scary manifesting tool that works in bizarrely cool ways.

a new thing

an you can play too

here is what i want:
can things please start being easier?

ways this could happen:
i could realize my great fortune and lesson in being right here
clients could book appointments with me
someone will want to do free work for me
random unknown ways
strange acts of kindness and abundance could happen
i could win the lottery (without buying a ticket)

what i don't want:
"helpful" suggestions from people
"useful" ideas that don't relate to me
one thing i did stories
shoulds as in "you should" or "have you tried" (cause that is just a hidden should

my commitment:
i promise to have gratitude for any and all incoming information
i promise to act on any information that feels correct
i will reciprocate random acts of kindness and generosity
i will be amazing and helpful to the new clients and there will be so much gratitude for them showing up
i shall dance the dance of shiva and get all giggly and hopefully epiphanied

please feel free to post your own version of asking in the comments. I got this brilliant idea from the ever brilliant Havi of The Fluent Self. and if you aren't following her blog yet... well you are missing out.

M = magic as well as all this

written by Umair Haque, originally published on HarvardBusiness.org

Dear Old People Who Run the World,

My generation would like to break up with you.

Everyday, I see a widening gap in how you and we understand the world — and what we want from it. I think we have irreconcilable differences.

You wanted big, fat, lazy “business.” We want small, responsive, micro-scale commerce.

You turned politics into a dirty word. We want authentic, deep democracy — everywhere.

You wanted financial fundamentalism. We want an economics that makes sense for people — not just banks.

You wanted shareholder value — built by tough-guy CEOs. We want real value, built by people with character, dignity, and courage.

You wanted an invisible hand — it became a digital hand. Today’s markets are those where the majority of trades are done literally robotically. We want a visible handshake: to trust and to be trusted.

You wanted growth — faster. We want to slow down — so we can become better.

You didn’t care which communities were capsized, or which lives were sunk. We want a rising tide that lifts all boats.

You wanted to biggie size life: McMansions, Hummers, and McFood. We want to humanize life.

You wanted exurbs, sprawl, and gated anti-communities. We want a society built on authentic community.

You wanted more money, credit and leverage — to consume ravenously. We want to be great at doing stuff that matters.

You sacrificed the meaningful for the material: you sold out the very things that made us great for trivial gewgaws, trinkets, and gadgets. We’re not for sale: we’re learning to once again do what is meaningful.

There’s a tectonic shift rocking the social, political, and economic landscape. The last two points above are what express it most concisely. I hate labels, but I’m going to employ a flawed, imperfect one: Generation “M.”

What do the “M”s in Generation M stand for? The first is for a movement. It’s a little bit about age — but mostly about a growing number of people who are acting very differently. They are doing meaningful stuff that matters the most. Those are the second, third, and fourth “M”s.

Gen M is about passion, responsibility, authenticity, and challenging yesterday’s way of everything. Everywhere I look, I see an explosion of Gen M businesses, NGOs, open-source communities, local initiatives, government. Who’s Gen M? Obama, kind of. Larry and Sergey. The Threadless, Etsy, and Flickr guys. Ev, Biz and the Twitter crew. Tehran 2.0. The folks at Kiva, Talking Points Memo, and FindtheFarmer. Shigeru Miyamoto, Steve Jobs, Muhammad Yunus, and Jeff Sachs are like the grandpas of Gen M. There are tons where these innovators came from.

Gen M isn’t just kind of awesome — it’s vitally necessary. If you think the “M”s sound idealistic, think again.

The great crisis isn’t going away, changing, or “morphing.” It’s the same old crisis — and it’s growing.

You’ve failed to recognize it for what it really is. It is, as I’ve repeatedly pointed out, in our institutions: the rules by which our economy is organized.

But they’re your institutions, not ours. You made them — and they’re broken. Here’s what I mean:

“… For example, the auto industry has cut back production so far that inventories have begun to shrink — even in the face of historically weak demand for motor vehicles. As the economy stabilizes, just slowing the pace of this inventory shrinkage will boost gross domestic product, or GDP, which is the nation’s total output of goods and services.”

Clearing the backlog of SUVs built on 30-year-old technology is going to pump up GDP? So what? There couldn’t be a clearer example of why GDP is a totally flawed concept, an obsolete institution. We don’t need more land yachts clogging our roads: we need a 21st Century auto industry.

I was (kind of) kidding about seceding before. Here’s what it looks like to me: every generation has a challenge, and this, I think, is ours: to foot the bill for yesterday’s profligacy — and to create, instead, an authentically, sustainably shared prosperity.

Anyone — young or old — can answer it. Generation M is more about what you do and who you are than when you were born. So the question is this: do you still belong to the 20th century – or the 21st?

Love,

Umair and the Edge Economy Community